Dear Diary – 2020

I keep sitting down to write out posts, and I have, let’s see… at last count, 21 drafts. Other bloggers, do you also have a fuck-ton of unfinished drafts, or are you normal? I’m frustrated with myself because I really wanted to commit to this, and there are a million and one things I could write about right now. But the fact is, they’re all … Continue reading Dear Diary – 2020

Can’t We Just Be Allowed to be Sad?

“Don’t you wish you were happier? More productive? More at peace? More energetic?” “For just $27.99 you can learn all the secrets I’ve spent years developing…” I see this shite all the time lately. Ads aimed at making people happy and productive. “Make your bed when you get up. Brush your teeth. Wash your face. Eat breakfast. Go for a run. Make an entry in … Continue reading Can’t We Just Be Allowed to be Sad?

Feel What You Feel

I’m losing track of the times in the past few years that I’ve expressed how I feel about a person or situation and have been told some variation of “you shouldn’t feel that way.” “What an awful thing to say.” “You should let that go.” Etcetera, etcetera. Tying into my post about authenticity – this is one of those unwritten social rules it seems, and … Continue reading Feel What You Feel

Annnnnd… We’re Back!

The royal we. You know. There’s only me here, me and my delusions of grandieur. My last post was March 17th. It is now juuuust about May 31st, and that means I didn’t bother with this blog which I pay good money for, for at least… *counts on fingers* two months and some more time. Hi, party people! Reading… people! Whoever you are. Greetings of … Continue reading Annnnnd… We’re Back!

The Song is Ended, but the Melody Lingers on…

My uncle, who I’ll simply call “H”, had quite a life. From a difficult upbringing to drugs and alcohol, he lived life recklessly quite often. He was a mass of contradictions, full of absurd humour, strange beliefs and opinions, genuinely intelligent observations, sometimes a dash of bitterness. He could be the most thoughtless person at times, and other times he was the sweetest and most … Continue reading The Song is Ended, but the Melody Lingers on…

Functionality and Chronic Illness

This (thankfully, nearly ending) winter has been one of the hardest I’ve ever had. I talked about it some here, but, new developments. Aside from the actual pain, fatigue, foggy brain et. al. that comes with my particular brand of chronic illness (and exacerbating issues), the most difficult and frustrating thing for me has been a steadily decrease of my own functionality. Growing up in … Continue reading Functionality and Chronic Illness

Dear Diary – New Year, Old Me

Really, really old me. My body feels twice my age right now, and it has for quite a while. Welcome to my laundry list of complaints. I’m tired, so tired. Exhausted, really. All day, every day. My head hurts, my neck hurts, my shoulder hurts, my stomach hurts. I have reflux, and my iron levels are low, and when I got increasingly cold and tired … Continue reading Dear Diary – New Year, Old Me

Authenticity

I was raised on the notion that honesty is, above all else, the ultimate virtue. For many years, if anyone had asked me what I admire most in a person, I would have said “honesty.” When I began reading etiquette columns, the Queen of which is Miss Manners, I was so completely dumbfounded by her constant advice to lie. To be honest, I still am. … Continue reading Authenticity

A Different Kind of Grief

Memories light the corners of my mindMisty water-colored memories of the way we were… Barbara Streisand – The Way We Were Funny story – the song I just quoted, I have never heard Barbara Streisand sing it. I heard it when I watched Big when I was a kid, and I watched that movie a lot because I loved it. Hell, I even linked it … Continue reading A Different Kind of Grief