Dear Diary – 2020

I keep sitting down to write out posts, and I have, let’s see… at last count, 21 drafts. Other bloggers, do you also have a fuck-ton of unfinished drafts, or are you normal? I’m frustrated with myself because I really wanted to commit to this, and there are a million and one things I could write about right now. But the fact is, they’re all … Continue reading Dear Diary – 2020

Can’t We Just Be Allowed to be Sad?

“Don’t you wish you were happier? More productive? More at peace? More energetic?” “For just $27.99 you can learn all the secrets I’ve spent years developing…” I see this shite all the time lately. Ads aimed at making people happy and productive. “Make your bed when you get up. Brush your teeth. Wash your face. Eat breakfast. Go for a run. Make an entry in … Continue reading Can’t We Just Be Allowed to be Sad?

Down, Down, Down The Rabbit Hole

Lewis Carroll brought us the phrase “down the rabbit hole,” introducing the term in 1865 in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. In the story, the phrase was literal – she actually, physically fell down a rabbit hole, landing in Wonderland. In this context, falling down the rabbit hole was about stumbling upon a surreal, strange and absurd place. Many believe that this was meant to be … Continue reading Down, Down, Down The Rabbit Hole

Feel What You Feel

I’m losing track of the times in the past few years that I’ve expressed how I feel about a person or situation and have been told some variation of “you shouldn’t feel that way.” “What an awful thing to say.” “You should let that go.” Etcetera, etcetera. Tying into my post about authenticity – this is one of those unwritten social rules it seems, and … Continue reading Feel What You Feel

Be Nice

Aside from the most basic skills, one of the first things I think children are taught is “be nice.” It starts out meaning the same thing whether you’re a girl or a boy. “Be nice” means, “don’t hit.” It means “don’t bite.” Or “don’t steal that toy.” “Please don’t scream.” In the beginning, it simply means treating other people decently, because of course children don’t … Continue reading Be Nice

Functionality and Chronic Illness

This (thankfully, nearly ending) winter has been one of the hardest I’ve ever had. I talked about it some here, but, new developments. Aside from the actual pain, fatigue, foggy brain et. al. that comes with my particular brand of chronic illness (and exacerbating issues), the most difficult and frustrating thing for me has been a steadily decrease of my own functionality. Growing up in … Continue reading Functionality and Chronic Illness

Let’s Talk About Meds

I am fairly certain that every single person I know who has to take medication to live a halfway normal life has these complaints, and I feel that it’s worth drawing some attention to. There are a couple different angles I’m coming at this from, so bear with me. ONE: With the whole “I’m smarter than a doctor” internet community, comes things like this: So, … Continue reading Let’s Talk About Meds

Medical Gaslighting

For a lot of years I’ve been aggravated at the difference in health-care for men and women. The old sexism that lingers, the ways that women are downplayed, the dismissive attitudes and ultimately, lack of proper diagnostics and treatment we receive. No matter what, any time I bring this topic up with women, I hear the same stories over and over and over, varying degrees … Continue reading Medical Gaslighting

Dear Diary – New Year, Old Me

Really, really old me. My body feels twice my age right now, and it has for quite a while. Welcome to my laundry list of complaints. I’m tired, so tired. Exhausted, really. All day, every day. My head hurts, my neck hurts, my shoulder hurts, my stomach hurts. I have reflux, and my iron levels are low, and when I got increasingly cold and tired … Continue reading Dear Diary – New Year, Old Me