I keep sitting down to write out posts, and I have, let’s see… at last count, 21 drafts. Other bloggers, do you also have a fuck-ton of unfinished drafts, or are you normal? I’m frustrated with myself because I really wanted to commit to this, and there are a million and one things I could write about right now. But the fact is, they’re all … Continue reading Dear Diary – 2020
“Don’t you wish you were happier? More productive? More at peace? More energetic?” “For just $27.99 you can learn all the secrets I’ve spent years developing…” I see this shite all the time lately. Ads aimed at making people happy and productive. “Make your bed when you get up. Brush your teeth. Wash your face. Eat breakfast. Go for a run. Make an entry in … Continue reading Can’t We Just Be Allowed to be Sad?
The royal we. You know. There’s only me here, me and my delusions of grandieur. My last post was March 17th. It is now juuuust about May 31st, and that means I didn’t bother with this blog which I pay good money for, for at least… *counts on fingers* two months and some more time. Hi, party people! Reading… people! Whoever you are. Greetings of … Continue reading Annnnnd… We’re Back!
Aside from the most basic skills, one of the first things I think children are taught is “be nice.” It starts out meaning the same thing whether you’re a girl or a boy. “Be nice” means, “don’t hit.” It means “don’t bite.” Or “don’t steal that toy.” “Please don’t scream.” In the beginning, it simply means treating other people decently, because of course children don’t … Continue reading Be Nice
This (thankfully, nearly ending) winter has been one of the hardest I’ve ever had. I talked about it some here, but, new developments. Aside from the actual pain, fatigue, foggy brain et. al. that comes with my particular brand of chronic illness (and exacerbating issues), the most difficult and frustrating thing for me has been a steadily decrease of my own functionality. Growing up in … Continue reading Functionality and Chronic Illness
Really, really old me. My body feels twice my age right now, and it has for quite a while. Welcome to my laundry list of complaints. I’m tired, so tired. Exhausted, really. All day, every day. My head hurts, my neck hurts, my shoulder hurts, my stomach hurts. I have reflux, and my iron levels are low, and when I got increasingly cold and tired … Continue reading Dear Diary – New Year, Old Me
So, I’m diagnosed bipolar with generalized anxiety and PTSD. The psychologist I saw a couple times actually calls it “Complex Trauma” rather than PTSD, since apparently prolonged and multiple childhood traumas are different but same-ish but different. Being concise is not my strength, but I’ll try. I had a hellish childhood, full of divorce, abuse, poverty, extreme bullying, neglect. I grew up fast, really fast, … Continue reading Dear Diary – Just, Meh…
I’m really tired. There are a lot of reasons a person can be tired. Lack of sleep, overwork, stress. “Tired” is a word that people are very comfortable in their knowledge of its definition. We all know tired, right? When my oldest son was a baby, he had colic. At least, that’s what people assumed it was. He didn’t sleep, and so I didn’t sleep. … Continue reading Dear Diary – Chronic Pain/Fatigue