In search of brevity… I can’t find my purpose. Life feels meaningless. I’m scared that this is all life will ever be. I feel I exist just to survive, to spare others the pain of missing me. And survival is miserable. So, I sit with my ever constant companions, exhaustion and pain, smoking cigarette after cigarette until my chest hurts… and then I smoke some … Continue reading Dear Diary – Sad Listlessness
Day 13. I don’t do new year’s resolutions. “New year, new you!” *snort* As if. I don’t suffer that delusion, I’m not buying a gym membership or quitting smoking or taking up a new hobby for half of January. Instead, I try to always be looking for things that I can do to grow or improve myself. Does it work? Sometimes. Life is a journey, … Continue reading 2020 2
There once was a boy; a beautiful boy, who had pale blue eyes, a quick dimpled smile, the most eye-catching stripe of platinum hair that stood out from the rest of his golden curls. He was charming and sweet, sensitive and bright… and he was mine. Now, 18 years later, he’s leaving me and I don’t know how to move on. When our oldest son … Continue reading So, He’s Leaving Me…
Today is meant to be the celebration of 153 years since Canada became a new federation with its own constitution by signing the Constitution Act – formerly known as the British North America Act. And yet, I’m not celebrating. Not this year, out of respect for a community mourning. As non-indigenous folk, we have to come to terms with a dark, not-so-distant past that indigenous … Continue reading Canada’s Birthday 2021
Have you ever reached a point in life where you want to just cut out human deadweight? I’m a Facebook person. I have been since 2007. Although I do have Twitter and Instagram accounts, I don’t use them nearly as much. I always liked the more personal connection I had with friends vs. “followers.” For a long time I kept everyone in my friends list … Continue reading Deadweight
I’ll keep this brief. The bodies of 215 children, some as young as 3 years old, were recently discovered in unmarked graves at a former B.C. residential school site. This most recent discovery is part of a much larger and inexcusable pattern of deaths, by disease or “accidents” in Canadian Residential Schools. The First Nations Child and Family Caring Society reports that they have identified … Continue reading 215 out of 4,100
When I first started this blog, it was meant to be a dumping ground for everything I had opinions on, funny stuff, sarcasm, whatever-the-fuck. And it has been that, definitely. But there’s a trend going on for me that I’ve noticed more recently, and that’s issues to do with the fallout of systemic racism, violence, and injustice. And these have become very important issues to … Continue reading What Allies Owe…
There’s an electric feeling in the air when a storm is coming. The charged atmosphere. The distant smell of dark, rain-soaked clouds that drift ever closer. Dark, snarling and flashing clouds. The pleasant breeze that flower petals and fluff danced in now turns angry, violent and haphazard. The firmament flashes, like a white-hot blade slicing through the sky. Crack! Rumble! Furious rain lashes down, and … Continue reading Dissociating My Life Away
No, you don’t need a million books. Trust me on this. A good many self-help books largely just help you dump your money into the author’s pocket. After years (so many years) of therapy, I feel at least a little bit qualified to condense what I’ve learned into something that may help people. At least, these are the things I suggest when friends come to … Continue reading Self-Help for Anxious People – Your Guide to Less Giving a Shit
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