In search of brevity… I can’t find my purpose. Life feels meaningless. I’m scared that this is all life will ever be. I feel I exist just to survive, to spare others the pain of missing me. And survival is miserable. So, I sit with my ever constant companions, exhaustion and pain, smoking cigarette after cigarette until my chest hurts… and then I smoke some … Continue reading Dear Diary – Sad Listlessness
Day 13. I don’t do new year’s resolutions. “New year, new you!” *snort* As if. I don’t suffer that delusion, I’m not buying a gym membership or quitting smoking or taking up a new hobby for half of January. Instead, I try to always be looking for things that I can do to grow or improve myself. Does it work? Sometimes. Life is a journey, … Continue reading 2020 2
There once was a boy; a beautiful boy, who had pale blue eyes, a quick dimpled smile, the most eye-catching stripe of platinum hair that stood out from the rest of his golden curls. He was charming and sweet, sensitive and bright… and he was mine. Now, 18 years later, he’s leaving me and I don’t know how to move on. When our oldest son … Continue reading So, He’s Leaving Me…
Have you ever reached a point in life where you want to just cut out human deadweight? I’m a Facebook person. I have been since 2007. Although I do have Twitter and Instagram accounts, I don’t use them nearly as much. I always liked the more personal connection I had with friends vs. “followers.” For a long time I kept everyone in my friends list … Continue reading Deadweight
I have literally no wisdom, research or wit here. Honestly, I thought that without the pressure of work I would blog more, but my brain has been mush. Figuratively, of course, though between headaches and fogginess I wouldn’t be surprised if it was literally mush too. I have this concept in my head that everything I write has to be just that, well thought out, … Continue reading Dear Diary? Sigh.
When every option hurts, how do you know which one to take? Continue reading Relationships and Toxicity
I keep sitting down to write out posts, and I have, let’s see… at last count, 21 drafts. Other bloggers, do you also have a fuck-ton of unfinished drafts, or are you normal? I’m frustrated with myself because I really wanted to commit to this, and there are a million and one things I could write about right now. But the fact is, they’re all … Continue reading Dear Diary – 2020
“Don’t you wish you were happier? More productive? More at peace? More energetic?” “For just $27.99 you can learn all the secrets I’ve spent years developing…” I see this shite all the time lately. Ads aimed at making people happy and productive. “Make your bed when you get up. Brush your teeth. Wash your face. Eat breakfast. Go for a run. Make an entry in … Continue reading Can’t We Just Be Allowed to be Sad?
The royal we. You know. There’s only me here, me and my delusions of grandieur. My last post was March 17th. It is now juuuust about May 31st, and that means I didn’t bother with this blog which I pay good money for, for at least… *counts on fingers* two months and some more time. Hi, party people! Reading… people! Whoever you are. Greetings of … Continue reading Annnnnd… We’re Back!
Aside from the most basic skills, one of the first things I think children are taught is “be nice.” It starts out meaning the same thing whether you’re a girl or a boy. “Be nice” means, “don’t hit.” It means “don’t bite.” Or “don’t steal that toy.” “Please don’t scream.” In the beginning, it simply means treating other people decently, because of course children don’t … Continue reading Be Nice
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